The Word for Today is Resilience!

Resilience : the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

: the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.

     This quality often seems to be demonstrated only in the movies, T.V. shows, or inside house holds but outside the home it seems to scarce at least from my observation when I look around. There use to be the term; "when the going get's tough the tough get going!" Try telling that to friends, family members, and associates now. I can almost assure you that they will look at you like you lost your mind and even possibly laugh in your face, unless of course they are enduring a hardship of some sort and decide to vent their displeasure and frustration upon you.

     So why do you ask, am I writing about Resilience, well lets just say that for one reason or another I am like most of you, constantly confronting many different obstacles and challenges. If you're relatively young like me (early forties) then you're finally finding your way around certain challenges and mastering how to think before you react. There is no trick or secret formula, all there is, is a need to find relative success in learning how to be patient or turning the adjective form of resilient into the verb form resilience. Physically you can work out and increase the strength of your muscles over a period of time, but how do you build resilience? That is a good question!

     Well here is how; "first you need to drink some raw eggs, preferably three in the morning, then eat a nutritious breakfast. Oh wait! I'm building resilience not muscles, sorry. Well you have to build positive communication between you and all those whom you associate with, but not the kind of communication that is absent in meaningful dialogue. What I mean by meaningful dialogue is you as an individual putting yourself aside for a moment so as to be more helpful to another person. As understandable as it may be we do desire to be taken into account and have the respect of others, nonetheless it is important that we  come to reality and see the great value in being selfless. That selfless deed contributes to a greater peace of mind and healthier self-esteem not to mention while you were occupying your mental, emotional, and physical energies to another activity you were not focused on your own problems and concerns, and that in itself has it's own reward.

     Now more about this meaningful dialogue that I briefly veered off of. By meaningful dialogue I am in essence talking about conversations that pertain towards something of importance like a subject or topic that has consistency and will either assist you or the other person to walk away a little more insightful than previously. Picking up these conversations don't have to be on every occurrence but every so often be that once a week or once a month it really depends upon the frequency in which you communicate with that or those particular individuals. What is it about? That depends upon you and the individual whom you converse with. Topics are of a personal decision depending upon your associates interest and those of your own, but don't pressure yourself over the matter the conversation of course needs to flow naturally into that direction, unless of course you wish to take a more direct approach to the matter and initiate the conversation on that particular topic.

     Something else can also help you to develop resilience and that is downtime, what is meant by downtime is a moment to mentally relax and reflect a little bit on your days activities before going to bed. What else is good to do if possible, is wake up earlier than your normal hour, periodically, to take a little bit of time to ponder over your days objectives and plan out what you need to do in order to have a positive day and make it your resolve to ensure that you will do just that regardless as to what may take place in the course of the day.

     So looking at the definition above about resilience, we will be able to honestly examine ourselves and figure out what do we need to do in order to develop this fine quality of being resilient and be just like a house built on solid foundation, resilient under all sorts of turbulent conditions and constantly at peace in our minds and hearts.

Look Around You!

     There are reasons to see life in a negative or positive manner. When you wake up in the morning what is your first passing thought, how do you feel when you think about what is most pressing to you? After your first passing thought what do you feel like doing after that? These are some of the mental habits that we have in our lives.

     How you perceive yourself and how your present who you are, are things that you do without planning or forethought, so if and when you meet someone new, what type of environment are you in? There are multiple facets to us, and we never conduct ourselves the same when our environment changes. How often are you smiling during the course of the day? When you see a stranger are you smiling or are you straight faced? How about the face of intimidation, is that your dominating presentation to the world?

     You have a reason to smile! Here is a reason why each individual has a reason to be happy and wear a smile on their face:

1) There is not another you, you are original and no one else that ever walks across the earth will be like you.

2) New experiences await you as long as you open yourself up to new experiences and are willing to take on new challenges.

3)  You can choose what you wish to feel for the day, if you want to be happy then all you have to do is create that happiness for yourself and don't let anyone or anything take that happiness from you.

4) Problems are going to continue to enter and exit your life, no problem is ever permanent they only change with time. Some are resolved but new problems arise and there is our new challenge for the moment.

5) Negative experiences are temporary but if we truly try to learn from the lesson we have made ourselves more educated and will acquire more wisdom on how to prevent those problems in the future.

6) Fix what you can fix and what can't be fixed put it to the side and address it later when the proper solution has presented itself to fix that issue. Don't take on more than what you are able to handle.

7) There is plenty to take notice of in order for you be content and happy with yourself all you have to do is wear a smile on your face and notice all your positive qualities, be nice to yourself!

Turn off the cell phone and relax, think about you have accomplished for the day. Leave the outside world outside and just relax. The problems of the world are nothing new, Take a look around! You're not the only person with problems instead of thinking about yourself think about someone close to you and don't ask them how you can help them just do something nice for them. When you've done that I can assure you that you will feel a little bit better than before.